Wednesday, October 26, 2016

Winter ['s Uniform] is Coming!

Happy fall, everyone! It's still 85 degrees here in Dallas, but I hear it's snowing up north, so I'll take that as my cue to reveal my winter uniform!

You'll remember that back in March, I decided to wear a uniform to work everyday in an effort to simplify my life. Well, it turned out to be a wild success, and I've decided to carry on through winter!

Dallas doesn't get too chilly, but it gets cold enough that the black Target dress would no longer be a viable choice. As the summer wound down, I set my budget and started scoping out the fall fashion to see what options I'd have.

In case you've forgotten the very specific details of my life that define the parameters of my need (#rude), let me refresh your memory. My work uniform must be:

  • Appropriate (no cleavage, booty, or upper thigh)
  • Comfortable 
  • Bike-able
  • Washable
One thing I liked about the black Target dress was that it was one piece of clothing. In keeping with this thought, I decided that a sweater dress would be the easiest option. I could throw leggings under it as needed, but wouldn't actually being wearing pants, which is a win. (I'm a firm believer that leggings are not pants.) It needed to be light-weight enough that I wouldn't overheat on my quick bike ride to work, but warm enough to keep me from turning into an popsicle by 3 p.m.  

Without meaning to, I wandered the aisles of Target, just to see what they had. I found a sweater dress that nearly checked all the boxes (it's okay to insert an eye roll here), but it was black with white stripes. Or was it white with black stripes? Nothing against stripes, but it wasn't going to work with my brown boots, and there was no way I was spending extra dollars on boots when I had perfectly good ones tucked in my closet. Storm the Jeep isn't going to pay for herself, people! I wish this dress came in another color, I thought to myself, like a nice dark green. That would be perfect. Lamenting, I left Target and forged my way across town to the mall. After searching all three levels, I settled on a navy blouse from Express. It was soft and long, with three-quarter length sleeves. I bought five.

If you thought that was the end of the story, ha! Remember, it took me three years just to buy a car, so there's no way this wasn't going to turn into a totally dramatic shopping experience. 

As luck would have it, I hit up my local Target* the next day for groceries. Feeling good about my previous day's purchase, I swung by the clothing department just to taunt that striped dress. I realize now that I was being weirdly competitive with an inanimate object. 

Moving on.

While moseying along, I saw something green out of the corner of my eye. When I looked harder, I saw that what I thought was a green cardigan, was in fact the very same dress as the striped--in a solid, dark green! 

You already know how this is going to end.

I returned the navy blouses from Express and saved nearly $50, thanks to an array of coupons and haggling with the customer service people (which is another reason this experience ended up being far too dramatic for my own good sense). I beta tested the outfit during the first week of October in Boston where fall really does mean sweater dresses and boots instead of just t-shirts and football, and it passed with flying colors (get it? flying colors? 'cause it's not black? Shut up. I'm hilarious.)

So what do you think? 

Now all I have to do is wait for winter to actually arrive. And when it does, I'll be ready!

*Thanks again to Target for unintentionally providing my entire wardrobe. Feel free to shower me with coupons and gift cards any time now.

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