Scotland Day 4: The Day of Magic

"Harry, you’re a wizard!" 

Today was epic! In the world of Liz McLane, choosing a Harry Potter-based activity is always the right choice. Luckily, KDew (sorry, Trel, it’s a thing), knows me well and booked us seats of the Jacobite train from Fort Williams to Mallaig, aka, the Hogwarts Express!

Okay, think about the arial shots of the Hogwarts Express in the movie. Specifically, think about in the Chamber of Secrets, when Harry and Ron are flying in the car above the train as it speeds along the huge viaduct. THATS WHAT WE DID TODAY!! We rode the train along the Glenfinnan Viaduct and geeked out like crazy. Dunt is also a Harry Potter fan, so it’s not like I was alone here. It was just wonderful. The scenery along the way was also extraordinary. Green, sprawling mountains, lakes, fog settling along the ridge lines. Breathtaking. 

The train drops you off in a little coastal town named Mallaig, where we had lunch, popped into a souvenier shop, and then, because it was raining, found a little cafe for a spot of tea before heading back. 

On the way back, we also snapped a few photos of the filming location for Dumbledore’s final resting place. So basically, heaven. 

After returning to Fort Williams, we grabbed some snacks from a weirdly fancy grocery store and headed out to Loch Ness. Yes--THE Loch Ness. I had no idea what we were in for. I was expecting something between Glen Arbor and Niagra Falls in terms of touristy situations. 

We stopped at Loch Lochy (Lake Lakey!) for a quick photo op along the way. Here’s Katie, our fearless driver, with Seamus Finnigan, our trusty car! I mean, just look at this scenery! 

Back on the road, Dudders took us to Urquhart Castle! It sits along Loch Ness and was the largest and most powerful castle in the area. Originally built in 400-something-AD, it changed hands multiple times as it was attacked, destroyed, rebuilt, remodeled, and eventually abandoned around the 1500s. That’s right. By the 1500s it had peaked and was no longer worth rebuilding. The ruins left today are fascinating, showing glimpses of what life in the medieval ages was like. 

Also, in a model of God’s good glory, the rain stopped, the clouds parted, and the sun shined brightly! We were both left in awe, and I told Katie that I could stay there all day. (not to mention I totally found Nessie!)

Since we got there later in the day, there were very few other tourists, so we had the place nearly to ourselves. We’re both quite interested in history, so we appreciated having time to let the place sink in. Not to mention that Loch Ness in the evening light is incredible. 

On the way home, we stopped at a pub in Fort Augustus for dinner and sat right along the canal to relax. It’s now about 10pm, we’re driving back to our travel pod, and the sun has yet to set. We’re so far north that we don’t get much darkness. I’m absolutely loving it! 

Tomorrow, we head to the Isle of Skye. Rumor has it we won’t have much wi-fi, so y’all have a great weekend!

Scotland Day 1 (and 2?) and 3: The Day of Too Many Hours

The time for Scotland has come! 

KDew and I met up in the Philadelphia airport Wednesday afternoon to catch our flight to Glasgow. She’d been traveling since about 6am, and I’d been up since 6am, so we knew it’d be a long day. Boarding our flight was easy and painless. Kdew escaped sitting next to a baby, while I ended up next to Professor Ken Hobson of the OU science department. Small world! Our other seat mate, Ross, was a Scotland native, and we asked him all sorts of questions. Prof. Ken and I chatted quite a bit about the new OU president, the various professors at OU who I had who he knew, and my travel abroad experience. The flight was reletively short (only about 6 hours), and we soon landed after maybe an hour or two of awkward plane sleep. 

***Commercial break! I bought the Trtl pillow advertised on FB, and it was AWESOME! Highly. Recommend. ***

Annnyyyyway, we landed in Glasgow around 7am (2am Phily time), got our car (keep left!) and found our way to our first B&B, where Helena served us a hot breakfast with tea. Let me tell you what, this was the best bacon I’ve had! She also set us up in the nicest room in the house, so it’s going to be all down hill from here. 

Despite it being the middle of night for my brain, the day was just starting for the Scots, so we pushed ourselves to stay awake. We attempted to drive over to Inverary Castle, but the high winds had knocked some trees onto the road, blocking passage. We turned around and instead drove up and down the little peninsula that we were on until we finally made our way over to Loch Lomond. We took a boat ride around the loch (I may or may not have fallen asleep on the boat...) before grabbing a quick meal. Finally, we decided we had stayed up late enough and could return to our B&B to sleep. We were nearly home when there was a massive traffic back up on our peninsula, so we had to turn around and go around the other side. Luck was on our side as the sun came out for a few minutes. We ended up driving along the coast, seeing some amazing homes, and getting to explore a little rocky beach. It was our first glimpse of the scottish magic that is to come!

Back in our rooms, we were served some very nice cake, took hot showers, and collpased into bed. I had been awake for about 30 (million?) hours, and Katie even longer than that. Needless to say we were both dying and ended up sleeping soundly for another million years.

Day 3: The road to Fort William

After the best night of sleep ever, Dunt and I headed to Fort William. We started the day by driving to Inverarey Castle--and stopping about every 15 minutes or so to get out and photograph our surroundings. We quickly learned that this would become quite a process. Put the rain coat on, zip, hood, climb out of the car, take pics while exclaiming "Wow!", run back to car sopping wet, clamber back in, take off rain coat, mop up water with small towel, pull out gps and iPod. Repeat five thousand times. But man, oh man, was it worth it.

Kdew and I (okay I) were pretty excited about twinning for the day, too. 

***Commercial break: rain pants! Holy moly! This was a last-minute purchase for me, as I kept talking myself out of it, but I am SO glad I brought them along. So helpful to keep me warm and dry #LayersForLiz ***

Okay, back to the drive. We made it to Inverary, where we stopped in the little village for some lunch before heading over to the castle! And you guys--it’s, like, a real castle! Not one of those silly chateaux that France lies about. It’s got turrets and a ridged roof line and just, wow!! 

They let you walk around the dining room, sitting room, saloon, turret rooms, and a couple rooms upstairs. This particular castle is owned by the Campbell clan, and the 14th Duke of Argyl still lives there today with his family! They even had a trampoline and a baskeball hoop on their driveway! 

Anyway, I decided that when I become a princess, then Inverary Castle is about the right size. Not too over the top, but still unmistakably a castle, thankyouverymuch. 

We took some pics with the neighboring Highlander coos and then were on our way! 

The rest of the drive consisted of us pulling over at nearly every scenic stop to take pictures. We stumbled upon Kilchurn Castle and plodded thru a lot of mud to check it out from across the loch. I wasn’t yet wearing my water-proof boots, so I quickly ended up with wet toes, but c’est la vie. Kilchurn was built around 1450 as a fortress of the dominant Campbell clan as they conquered the surrounding lands. It’s in ruins now, but still so beautiful! 

Back in car we crossed officially into the Highlands and immediately saw the change in scenery. Where we had been seing rolling hills and green forestry, we now saw soaring peaks of snow and short shurbbery. Waterfalls of melting snow scattered all the hills, filling the lochs below. 

By dinner time, we arrived at our glamping pod in a cute little village called Spean Bridge. It’s literally a pod in these people’s yard with two beds, a kitchenette, and tiny bathroom. Dunt has to duck. 

We grabbed some traditional meat pie for dinner and then retreated to our pod to relax before bed. If today’s adventures are just a sample of the ones to come, then this trip is going to be amazing!!

(Have I mentioned that it's been raining? Like, a lot? Cause it has. And all signs point to it raining forever and ever for the rest of time.)

Go Scots!

I'm leaving! I'm leaving! I'm leaving! Y'all have fun digging mac and cheese outta your kids' noses, Imma hit up the Highlands.

I know I get to do this a lot, but I swear it's still not enough. This time I'm tagging along with my girl Katie as she explores Scotland! She's planned the whole thing--from renting the car to booking accommodations--and I've done nothing except worry about packing plenty of layers. #KeepLizWarm

We'll be flying into Glasgow and then driving up to the Highlands to search for the Loch Ness Monster, ride the Hogwarts Express, and avoid haggis.

Though Katie will continue for about a month, I only get to join for about ten days. So follow along if you want. Or not. I'm going to have fun either way. 

And hey--this will be the first time I head back to Europe since college. And I already have the Scottish flag. So who knows what will happen!

Just please, God, keep those damn bagpipes away!

I Was Not Raped Last Night, and I Don't Understand Why.

Dear #BoysWillBeBoys,

I was not raped last night. And I’m not sure why. Here, let me fill you in on the details. 

At approximately 10:30 p.m. last night in Los Angeles, I ordered a Lyft. It’s the holidays, and I’m semi broke right now, so I opted to do a ride share instead of a private car, since the ride share option is a little cheaper. When the male driver pulled up, I got into the back seat where another guy was already seated. Both men were in their twenties, I would guess, and both were dressed pretty casually. Driver Dude was playing cool music and both guys said hi to me as I climbed in and confirmed my drop off location—the Airport Marriott Hotel. 

During the drive, Back Seat Dude scrolled his instagram and looked out his window. I think he also kinda passed out against the door. Driver Dude drove, and at one point, when he slowed down on an especially dark street, it was because an emergency vehicle needed to pass us. 

Neither male raped me, though. Neither one made lewd nor even suggestive comments to me. Neither one touched me, nor did Back Seat Dude stretch his hand, leg, or dick across the Neutral Zone of the middle seat. 

After everything I’ve been told lately about men and women in confined spaces and how men are just wired differently and can’t help it, I figured it was finally going to happen—my first raping (not to be confused with my first reaping, which includes less dick but equal amounts of fear, I’m assuming). 

But, neither of those men grabbed me by the pussy. Can you believe that? In fact, it was a pretty chill ride. I said good night to them when the driver dropped me off, and both guys mumbled some sort of “have a nice night” pleasentry in return. Neither man got out of the car to follow me into the hotel and up to my room. 

I’m so confused, because, according to the men in the government and in Hollywood who are being accused of sexual harassment, I should have had it coming. I mean, let’s even consider the most important element to the story—my outfit. That would be the court’s first concern anyway, so let’s address it! I admit I was wearing skinny jeans, which I remember specifically because I lamented bringing them for this trip when I woke up on the morning of my flight having started my period. I was bloated and cramping and skinny jeans were the last thing I wanted to squeeze myself into for a three-hour flight. And these were skinny, skinny jeans, too. Not the more relaxed fit ones I wish I had worn, so they were extra tight on me, accentuating my rear end, which, according to every boyfriend I’ve ever had, is one of my best features. 

Now, I realize that my scoop-neck, keyhole blouse was hidden under my form-fitting, light weight jacket, but my hair and makeup were on point, and hello? Skinny jeans! What more do you people want? 

So, I was definitely dressed provocatively enough. I mean, if tweens in baggy sweatpants get raped, my skinny jeans were a dead giveaway. And besides, it was late on a Saturday night, and I was obviously an out-of-towner, considering my drop off location was the AIRPORT MARRIOTT. How easy would it have been for Driver Dude to feign a car maintenance issue for ten minutes while he and Back Seat Dude overpowered me, ripped down my amazingly tight jeans and went to town? And then, BONUS! Because there’d be blood, (remember, I’m on my period, so, hello gushing river of doom), Driver Dude could probably peg me for “vehicle damage” and force me to pay for new leather seats or something. I mean, what jury would convict him? He was just doing his job when a petite, non-local chick, dressed like she was asking for it, willingly got into his car with another man who she didn’t know. I’m obviously the most irresponsible and ditsy girl there ever was. What smart woman in her right mind would accept that ride, instead of cancelling and paying the measly $2 cancellation fee? I mean, was I really willing to risk my vagina for $2? I was obviously asking for it. 

So, I’m not really sure what happened. The driver never pulled over, the man in back seat never groped me, and neither one of them raped me. It was like they were exhibiting some sort of super-human self-control that stopped them from reacting with pure instinct. It was like they weren’t focused on sex and sex alone. Or at least not expecting it from me just because I dared to get in a car with them. But they shouldn’t have been able to resist, if that’s truly just the way men are wired. 

Anyway, I’m obviously very upset, as everything I’ve ever been told about the way men are wired has now been completely disproven. And, since I’m a woman and unable to think for myself, an explanation would be great. Not that I needed to ask for one, as I’m sure you’ll be giving me one anyway. 

Because, that’s the whole point, right? Even when I’m not asking for it, you’ll give it to me. 

Sincerely, 

A concerned female, Liz

*Side note: If you’re too thick to recognize the sarcasm dripping from this post, I recommend this book, to help you better learn the art of it.

How to Write a Killer Resume (and other good information!)

Howdy y'all!

Spring has sprung in Texas, which means it's time to dust off your resume and hop on out there! For anyone interested in learning my secret sauce to writing a killer resume and prepping for those dreadfully awkward interviews, I'm giving a talk at the end of this month!

Register now, and you'll get to hear all my secrets! (er..about writing resumes, not...like...whether or not I'm still afraid of the Boogie man hiding under my bed*)

Here's the link to get signed up. There will also be a talk on how to develop job searching skills and a couple panels where you can hear from successful Dallas professionals on how to network and land a great job. It should be a fruitful afternoon and..drum roll please...it includes dinner! Who doesn't love a great free meal?

Anyway, hope to see you all there!

*He is. And I am. *Shudders*

Winter ['s Uniform] is Coming!

Happy fall, everyone! It's still 85 degrees here in Dallas, but I hear it's snowing up north, so I'll take that as my cue to reveal my winter uniform!

You'll remember that back in March, I decided to wear a uniform to work everyday in an effort to simplify my life. Well, it turned out to be a wild success, and I've decided to carry on through winter!

Dallas doesn't get too chilly, but it gets cold enough that the black Target dress would no longer be a viable choice. As the summer wound down, I set my budget and started scoping out the fall fashion to see what options I'd have.

In case you've forgotten the very specific details of my life that define the parameters of my need (#rude), let me refresh your memory. My work uniform must be:

• Appropriate (no cleavage, booty, or upper thigh)
• Comfortable 
• Bike-able
• Washable

One thing I liked about the black Target dress was that it was one piece of clothing. In keeping with this thought, I decided that a sweater dress would be the easiest option. I could throw leggings under it as needed, but wouldn't actually being wearing pants, which is a win. (I'm a firm believer that leggings are not pants.) It needed to be light-weight enough that I wouldn't overheat on my quick bike ride to work, but warm enough to keep me from turning into an popsicle by 3 p.m.  

Without meaning to, I wandered the aisles of Target, just to see what they had. I found a sweater dress that nearly checked all the boxes (it's okay to insert an eye roll here), but it was black with white stripes. Or was it white with black stripes? Nothing against stripes, but it wasn't going to work with my brown boots, and there was no way I was spending extra dollars on boots when I had perfectly good ones tucked in my closet. Storm the Jeep isn't going to pay for herself, people! I wish this dress came in another color, I thought to myself, like a nice dark green. That would be perfect. Lamenting, I left Target and forged my way across town to the mall. After searching all three levels, I settled on a navy blouse from Express. It was soft and long, with three-quarter length sleeves. I bought five.

If you thought that was the end of the story, ha! Remember, it took me three years just to buy a car, so there's no way this wasn't going to turn into a totally dramatic shopping experience. 

As luck would have it, I hit up my local Target* the next day for groceries. Feeling good about my previous day's purchase, I swung by the clothing department just to taunt that striped dress. I realize now that I was being weirdly competitive with an inanimate object. 

Moving on.

While moseying along, I saw something green out of the corner of my eye. When I looked harder, I saw that what I thought was a green cardigan, was in fact the very same dress as the striped--in a solid, dark green! 

You already know how this is going to end.

I returned the navy blouses from Express and saved nearly $50, thanks to an array of coupons and haggling with the customer service people (which is another reason this experience ended up being far too dramatic for my own good sense). I beta tested the outfit during the first week of October in Boston where fall really does mean sweater dresses and boots instead of just t-shirts and football, and it passed with flying colors (get it? flying colors? 'cause it's not black? Shut up. I'm hilarious.)

So what do you think? 

Now all I have to do is wait for winter to actually arrive. And when it does, I'll be ready!

*Thanks again to Target for unintentionally providing my entire wardrobe. Feel free to shower me with coupons and gift cards any time now.

Why Wearing a Uniform Has Saved My Life

Click-bait! Such a genius writing model to come out of this whole Internet obsession thing. Thanks, Obama. Speaking of whom, it's Thursday night, and I'm sitting in bed waiting for Jimmy Fallon to start because I have a feeling it'll be a great show with Obama on it tonight.

In the meantime, I know you guys are all DYING to hear an update on how this work uniform is going. Do I like it? Have I bought more dresses? Is my life magical and wonderful now? And what have I been doing with ALL my extra time now that I'm not spending multiple minutes standing in my closet trying to figure out what tops match which bottoms. Well, let me tell you. It's been two months now, and life is magical.

Has my life changed drastically? No, I can't say that "drastic" is the right word. But the subtle changes and thoughtlessness have been wonderfully freeing. In short, YES, I'm super glad I've made this choice, and I plan to keep it up for the rest of the summer. Here's a list of reasons why it's been so great:

• Reallocating time in the morning from spending it in my closet to spending it either sleeping or making breakfast.
• Not waking up and knowing I have a very hard decision to make every morning.
• Purging my closet and dresser of items I'll never wear again, or, frankly, just don't need.
• I enjoy my other clothes again now that I only see them on the weekends.
• Less clutter in my room now that I don't have clothes scattered about waiting to be either hung up or deemed laundry
• Less clutter means less time spent cleaning up my room at the end of the week, and therefore less time getting down on myself for letting my room get messy.

• (I CANNOT stress this one enough!! This has been the most unexpected change so far. Being the only human in my house means I am in charge of all the chores all the time. There's no one else around to take on the dishes or the laundry for me, so, the fewer chores I create for myself the better. I never realized how much of a burden tidying up was when I had clothes piling up on the dresser. It's so refreshing to walk into a neat and orderly bedroom every night knowing there isn't one more chore to complete before bedtime.) 
• Not spending money shopping because I feel pressure about having a stale repertoire of clothes is great for my budget. 
• No one was actually pressuring me, but social convention requires a woman to have a revolving door of new, fresh clothing items and not to repeat outfits too often. Think I'm kidding? Here's an article pointing out every time Kate Middleton has re-worn dresses. Apparently people really pay attention to this. This is a ridiculous social notion on several levels (fiscally, environmentally, glutton-iously, I could go on...), but I feel it just as much as most women out there. The uniform has done a nice job of letting me off the hook. 

So there you go! I'm loving the uniform, I plan to keep it up, and I'm already starting to think about what my cold-weather version will look like.

Have you started a uniform? Do you have more questions about mine? Leave me a comment below!